La Festa è a Buenos Aires

La Festa è a Buenos Aires” – Tre Allegri Ragazzi Morti

Il corpo è fragile la vita violenta
che puoi perderci la mano
che puoi perderci la faccia
che puoi perderci le braccia
che puoi perderci la testa
la festa è a Buenos Aires
civili così civili
che mi ricorderò di te
il tempo per parlare ancora
del futuro che ci aspetterà
vicini così vicini
che mi dimentico di te
il resto intorno è quel che c’è
e la tua storia è dentro la mia storia
civili così civili
vicini così vicini
sento che non sento
e che il mio senso mi tradirà
vicini così vicini
da sentirsi un po’ più liberi
di desiderare il meglio
per un futuro che non ci sarà
la festa è a Buenos Aires.

Summit-lake-wv-night-sky-reflection_-_West_Virginia_-_ForestWander.jpg

“The feast is in Buenos Aires”: the body is fragile, life violent, that you can lose your hand, that you can lose your face, that you can lose your arms, that you can lose your head, the feast is in Buenos Aires. Civilized, so civilized, that I will remember you, time to speak again about the future that will await us; near, so near, that I will forget you, the rest around is what there is and your story is inside my story; civilized, so civilized, near, so near, I feel that I don’t feel and that my sense will betray me; near, so near, to feel a bit more free to desire the best for a future that won’t be; the feast is in Buenos Aires.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

I’ve been listening to this nice Italian group for ages; they are my fav Italian group not only because their music is pretty awesome, but also – and sometimes more importantly – for their lyrics. I have already posted something about the Tre Allegri Ragazzi Morti and their song “La Tatuata Bella” (Una riflessione: “La Tatuata Bella” (TARM) you’ll find here the article). I don’t know how and why, but they manage to reflect much of my thoughts, sometimes just with a bunch of words. As for today’s “La Festa è a Buenos Aires”, I’d like to stop for a while on these words: sento che non sento / e che il mio senso mi tradirà /
vicini così vicini / da sentirsi un po’ più liberi / di desiderare il meglio / per un futuro che non ci sarà.

Despite being abroad, I have not left at home my anxieties, my fears, my doubts. Doubts about the future. And these words talk directly about the future. They start with the present: I feel that I do not feel. Seems like an anesthetic way of living, a way of living in which you try to avoid feelings, emotions, the senses, because they are dangerous and you will otherwise suffer from what you feel. You feel the detachment from a life that’s no longer yours, because someone else always tells you what to do, how to do it, who to be (ultimately). Have you ever thought about how much we depend on something that is not entirely ours? We cannot choose what to do in our lives, we cannot take the path that we want. Or rather, we actually can take it, but then someone (call it the system or whatever you want) will tell you that you are wrong and you’re stuck in a dead end. So we depend on the system, because society is grounded on this underlying web of prejudices, stereotypes, rules, misconceptions, constrains. We cannot choose but do what they want us to do. And if you refuse, if you do not want to bend the knee, then you’re held in chain, then you’re automatically considered a loser, a failure, a failure for being true to your own beliefs…

And then Davide Toffolo says there is a shift, a shift because we are so near to allow ourselves to wish for the best. So some of us are brave enough to hope for the best for their future. Yet, a future that won’t be is already a failure. It reminded me of the TV series “Skins”, when a character says “There is no future“. I wonder what it means, what it truly means. There will always be a future, either for us or for the world. The true meaning is that there is no future worth living. This is how I have often felt. Not that I wanted to do something extreme, bear it in mind! But sometimes I fell prey of anxiety and Niedergeschlagenheit, of my own fears of losing control over my life. That’s the problem of idealists. We would like to live the ideal life, with no clashes, being true to our values, living a life that represent our values completely. And when this idyllic picture collapsed, well, discomfort and disarray… When you are trap in a job that it’s not what you feel in your guts, or when you’d like to follow your dreams but you know how much it will cost… When you have fought all your life for a (more than) decent education, for culture, for your personal growth, and then (almost) no one wants to make you thrive… because society itself is stuck, because intelligent people are often dangerous… well, what else can you do but run away? Even though this is not what you wanted, how you figured it.

Then you climb a mountain. And you see all the bounty and beauty that spread in front of your eyes. You breathe all that oxygen and sap, the grass and the bees’ honey. Your face burnt by the sun, the Rosa in the distance, always covered in some clouds. Or you go back home, after two months, with the legs trembling, tears, happiness. And you find your furry friends there waiting for you, with their eyes full of unconditional love. And you wish it could be like that forever. That’s the future worth living, that’ the future I’d like. But that’s the future so many people find it impossible to live, because of the system, society, the others, commitments, responsibilities, REALITY. That’s a future that clashes against reality, this reality, today’s reality and even tomorrow.

Is there a solution? I don’t know. I have an idea in mind. It’s hard. It’s another climb. The hardest. But that’s an epitome of my life, I guess. The climb. I guess I still have to climb my K2. See it coming. Get ready.

Keep it wild and simple

AnaKWildness

 

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